I promised you I would be okay. How do I keep that promise when my life has been shattered into a million pieces?

Photo by the author, Sedona, AZ spreading a few ashes

I thought I knew grief. I take that back. I knew grief, but nothing like this. Losing your person is grief on a whole new level. You…

Photo by the author

The gratitude jar was a Christmas gift for me from my daughter Amber and son in law Gabe. It sat on my desk for a couple of years and, once I started working from home I began to add to it daily. I added little things that came to mind…

It’s one of my favorite songs and now a connection with the love of my life. Or was it just a dream?

Photo by the author

It’s been five weeks since the love of my life passed away. I cannot begin to describe the pain. The grief comes in waves and wipes me out. I can’t even get relief from sleep because I can’t sleep. When I do happen to pass out from sheer exhaustion, it…

Photo of the author and Tom by the author

I made some crockpot apples and oatmeal the last week of August for Tom. His pain had become so bad that he relied on opioids for relief. He hates them and the constipation that comes with them. So I added lots of prunes. …

At times I am sure you are with me. The rest of the time, I am hopeful.

Photo by the author

I spent the last year of my life in a state of anticipatory grief. None of it prepared me for the real thing.

It happened so fast. Yet, I am thankful for the two-week process.

We were alone in Phoenix and had been for months. I took Tom to the…

Tom doing what he loved. Photo by the author

“Hi, I’m Tom”

Tom was born in Salt Lake City on June 3, 1958. He attended Bingham High School in Copperton before graduating from Crescent City High School in California, where he learned Mechanics.

He returned to Salt Lake City and worked as an auto body technician for the rest…

Photo by the author Tom and Frankie

I can’t stop shaking. It starts deep in my soul and rumbles outward. I am shaking inside my skin. My heart physically hurts; it feels like it’s about to burst.

Tom doesn’t know me anymore. I arrived at the hospital this morning, worry in my eyes. There is a nurse’s…

Jennifer Estes

I started writing about a year ago, I use it to make sense of and cope with the struggles on my life’s path.

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