I just realized my dreams are not always about what I am going through right now. Some of them are a glimpse into the future.
I was in an ancient house that was falling apart. As I lay in bed alone, it started to rain outside. Soon the rain is falling inside my room and all over me. I walk across the hallway to the other room where Tom is sleeping and ask him to please help me move my bed into his room so I can sleep without getting rained on. He looks at me, so I know he heard me, but he walks away. I stand there watching as he goes outside and under the house.
I am wondering if he is ignoring me or if he is trying to fix the problem. Suddenly I am outside, looking at the house. It is surrounded by police, an ambulance, and a helicopter. Something big is going on, but nobody will talk to me. They are ignoring me, even though this is my house. I am worried sick about Tom.
Then everything changes, and I am far from the house; there is a massive storm on the horizon. I try to hurry and get home before the storm hits. I have never felt so lost and alone as I race to get there.
I had this dream on August 10, 2021, when Tom and I were in Phoenix. He recently had his 7th or 8th brain surgery and was in the midst of twice weekly chemotherapy and four times weekly radiation. I wrote about it in my journal in the morning after waking. Today I re-read it, along with my interpretation. The last sentence I wrote was, this is URGENT. Tom and I need to communicate. I knew he was dying, he knew he was dying, yet we rarely spoke about it for fear of losing hope.
By the end of the month, the storm would be upon us. Tom would be in the Mayo hospital incoherent, actively dying, and not knowing who I was. The staff would completely cut me out of the loop since I was not his legal wife. They treated me like some imposter who had no business being there. Even though I’d been there for every appointment, treatment, and surgery. Even though Tom had said to every doctor, at every single appointment, “Jennifer is my wife; she runs my patient portal; I would be lost without her” his regular doctors always referred to me as his Mrs.